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Comedy for design engineers

As design engineers or technology lovers we understand what I call inside jokes , "others call it geeky" so my question is what's the best tech /science jokes you know?

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I'll start things off (I must admit I heard this form newscientist) the bar man said no neutrinos allowed, a neutrino entered the bar

hmmm . . . I will have to think about this . . . I know there are a few!

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who think in binary and those who don't

Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Guy Campbell said:

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who think in binary and those who don't

1. cup both hands (as if you are holding dice)

2. make motion of shaking them

3. kiss, look to the sky or make other gestures that indicate good luck!

4. "throw" the dice and then...

5a. turn palm up with thumb and pointer in the form of a gun with your middle finger pointing normal to your palm. This should create the X,Y and Z axis.

Practice helps. Enjoy!

1. cup both hands (as if you are holding dice)

2. make motion of shaking them

3. kiss, look to the sky or make other gestures that indicate good luck!

4. "throw" the dice and then...

5a. turn palm up with thumb and pointer in the form of a gun with your middle finger pointing normal to your palm. This should create the X,Y and Z axis.

Practice helps. Enjoy!

No, there are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand Gray Code, those who don't, and those who mistake it for Simple Binary.

Guy Campbell said:

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who think in binary and those who don't

This one might count as off-color, although no dirty words are said:

A Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer and a Chemical Engineer were sitting around discussing what sort of Engineer God was, using the human body as the reference.

The Mechanical Engineer says, "God is obviously a Mechanical Engineer. Look at all the joints and levers."

The Electrical Engineer states, "No, He is clearly an Electrical Engineer, look at the miles of wiring in the nervous system."

The Chemical Engineer intones, "God is a Civil Engineer."

The Mechanical Engineer replies, "So, how is God like a Chemical Engi- Wait, did you say Civil Engineer?"

The Chemical Engineer nods, "Who else would run a toxic waste pipe through the middle of a recreational area?"

Andrew Dreasler said:

This one might count as off-color, although no dirty words are said:

A Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer and a Chemical Engineer were sitting around discussing what sort of Engineer God was, using the human body as the reference.

The Mechanical Engineer says, "God is obviously a Mechanical Engineer. Look at all the joints and levers."

The Electrical Engineer states, "No, He is clearly an Electrical Engineer, look at the miles of wiring in the nervous system."

The Chemical Engineer intones, "God is a Civil Engineer."

The Mechanical Engineer replies, "So, how is God like a Chemical Engi- Wait, did you say Civil Engineer?"

The Chemical Engineer nods, "Who else would run a toxic waste pipe through the middle of a recreational area?"

What's the difference between an introverted engineer and an extroverted engineer?

The extrovert stares at your shoes.

I was recently on a long teleconference with NASA engineers. One was explaining his powerpoint diagram of his test, the function of the orange shirted figures, the green and the blue. Some one asked, "no Red Shirts?" Reply was, "No, no Red Shirts". EVERYONE instantly got the Star Trek reference.

This reminds me of this recent video we shot, the Top 10 Engineering Pickup Lines! Check it out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-0B9syGR1A